So im sick of the dern rain.

if i wanted to live in a Washington-esque environment i would move to Seattle and kill myself.

have you ever tried to ride a bike in the rain?  you have a backlash of rain from your front tire hitting you in the face and then you have a line of rain from your back tire lining your ass.  Uncomfortable and embarrassing.

Did you know that Seattle has the highest suicide rate in the nation?

With weather like this no wonder Washington’s out of razor blades.

So topic today:

Colvin Frat Pit dippers.

If you have ever been to the Colvin then you know what the frat pit is, you may not know you know, but think about it and you can figure it out in two shakes and a wily Tigger hop.

There are these guys that, when they think no one is looking at them, will stop whatever they are doing and flex in front of the mirrors at different angles.  Just watch them one day when you are bored.  it is downright entertaining if you ask me.

i used to think these type of guys were tools, and they kind of are but not in the condemning sense of the (slang) word.  But that was before i thought about something.  I have come to realize something about people:  Everyone is insecure about something in their lives, no matter who someone is or what they may say otherwise.   We are all conditioned to deal with that insecurity differently.  Some people like to show off in front of a mirror, if only to themselves.

On the one hand i feel that i shouldn’t judge someone who is just trying to feel good about who they are in perhaps the only way they know how to express it, but on the other….its just too damn funny not to do so.

We all have issues and we all use a different brand of paper towel to clean up the mess they leave behind.

But the overall point I’m trying to make is that obviously you shouldn’t just judge someone for doing something that maybe you wouldn’t participate in of course,  but more importantly, laugh if you feel like it.  It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to see something you find funny and not laugh at it.  Even if you know you shouldn’t be laughing, do it anyways.  the important lesson is that you understand why you should be laughing.  Most people would be laughing out of their own self righteous ignorance. I say laugh laugh laugh.  Especially when he could definitely find something to laugh about with your process.

and besides, who decided that life should be taken so serious?

Because in case you’ve forgotten, nobodies getting out alive.

I have a janky sense of morality but the suits a nice cut so I’m going to wear it anyway.

Which brings me to my next point:

What do you think Aliens do for recreational purposes?  I mean in every film i have ever seen extraterrestrials are either trying to blow up our planet or we are trying to blow up their planet.

Violence, death, light sabers, laser beams, intergalactic planetary, planetary intergalactic.

I mean it has to be a rough life the sort of all work no play mentality that is portrayed in films.  which i guess it makes sense because who wants to spend two hours of prime sunday afternoon time watching aliens at ease?  Sort of an extra-species Harvest Moon.

sigh…gotta love Natsume.

cereal though, i bet they like to fly fish.

Not sure why.  I just have this strong feeling that they are really into the aquatic scene.  Fishing, sail-boating, swimming laps in a  two dimensional space pool, underwater sight seeing.

….bet they have some rocking scuba gear at the very least.

Do you ever wonder if Zeus tried throwing other objects before he decided on lightening bolts?

perhaps he tried to throw pots and pans, or high quality cutlery like Ginsu knives.  Mayhaps it was a more gradual process.  Like he had to work up to throwing full out lightening bolts. In a slowly evolving process, getting more effective over time.

1. first he would rub his toes in plushly designed carpet and would snap static.

2.then spark plugs.

3.then that funny feeling you get when you lick a nine volt.

4.then eels.

5.then really angry eels.

6.  throwing thunder.  which was pointless.  (Ohhhh! look at the fancy weather ventriloquist)…..stupid.

7. baby lightening bolts

8.moody teenager rebellious bolts who stayed in their rooms listening to crass music and refusing to be thrown at Titans.

Finally coming to terms with the power he wields today.

or perhaps he tried to handle his issues with the Titans in a diplomatic fashion.  Electing to talk things through rather than move on to any rash decisions but in the middle of the debate over who would get bathing rights in the hot springs every tuesday/thursday Zeus accidentally launched a massive electrical storm during a coughing fit over some spicy couscous and thought to himself “screw this diplomatic crap i can launch lightening!”  He then preceded to screw up what would have been a precursor to NATO.

Which leads me to my final words of wisdom:

Never allow a power hungry god rule Olympus with a electrically emblazoned fist, arm thine self with rubber boots, electrical tape, and a couple of surge protectors and power that ass down!

“Wisdom was never really a word from the wise.”

-George Washington Carver-

(George Washington Carver didn’t say that)

(…..i mean he MIGHT have but the coincidental ratio of him actually uttering those exact lines and then me this weird ass kid from the Podunk south actually getting it correctly word for word verbatim is approximately 1 in 625,231,543.223)

(repeating of course.)

(which is redonkulous to superimpose into your resume)

(especially when it is an English resume sent to a nation that doesn’t speak english)

(if they don’t speak English in the nation this hypothetical person is sending his resume to than how are they going to read it you ask?  Well thats a real question for the Dolphins, but they’re gone.)

(they were the second smartest beings on the planet)

(So long and thanks for all the fish, and all this that and the other…you know)

(I’m actually typing this underneath my sheets right now trying to hide the fact that I’m still blogging from my Nefarious step uncle Rupert)

(I’m not sure why i thought talking like this would help.)

(maybe i figured the parentheses would make my texting less bright.)

(mayhaps it does)

(…it doesn’t).