No Chopin, You Cannot Have the Soft Spot.

I like butterfly bandages, for the most part.

The world is all about aesthetics not actuality.  If it looks good, it sells good.  Not until the 5th day of shit filled liveries do they realize what they have gotten themselves into.

I talked to my editor about my book and we brainstormed a first chapter and a basic outline for its structure.  Its going to be a wonderfully fun spin on a fair ride. Ups, downs, and all arounds.  Im going to start work on it later this week.

So i have a question: Does a packet of oatmeal a day make a bad person?  Because if so, I’m totally boned.

For i have had virtually the same breakfast for over a year: a packet of oatmeal and half a bagel. Everyday.

Sounds depressing.  I think it sounds delicious and i can’t wait for 8.

I seriously doubt dogs are colorblind.  But it still didn’t stop me from laughing in UP when Doug could only see the grey car.  grey, not gray.  the British have their shit together on this one, the phonetic symbol for the “aye” sound is the letter “e.”  Take Raviji’s class and you will steal my smarties.

So thanks to one Heather Wilson, i think i am going to apply for the JET program and teach English in Japan! yay!  Used panties in vending machines! Mayonnaise on pizza!  GODZILLA! ohhhhh!!!!!  I just want to get the HELL out of America.  My mum says i can’t marry a Japanese girl.  Little does she know i am already married to a thai mail order bride.  Boned on all accounts mummy dearest.

No offense America, you are cool and all for a time, but your like a walk-in closet.  No matter how big and fancy the closet gets, no matter how many nice Dolce & Gabbana sweater vests you pack in, your still just a place i hang my hat.  Keep it.

It irritates me how organized religion screws the mind of the feeble.  Dani told me a story about how a girl (they had never met mind you) busted into her friend’s apartment and asked to pray for them.  All good and well, if not a bit unorthodox and frightful for the average atheist.  She then began to cry and beg God to cleanse them of all of their sexual impurities, over and over again.  It seems that she had recently had sex and was feeling uber guilty about it.  I agree with repentance, if that is your bag of Eucharist crackers, but when you brainwash a college level woman that exploring her sexuality is wrong and goes against God, i get a little pissed.  Ya, i think people should practice intelligent, safe, and responsible sexual practices, and i know that the Bible says that we should wait until we are married, but hey, that is not happening.  We all sin, and we will all continue to sin.  Why should one sin be held more “sintastic” than others?  It is silly, and hypocritical.  If you can stick it out until then i applaud you, your wife however, will not. (facetious much? 🙂 )

People are INCREDIBLY susceptible to what you tell them, especially when you hold a level of authority.  It is tiresome and silly, but we all progress down the road of independence and thinking for ourselves at different times and down different avenues, so i can’t put a giant bumper sticker over the whole gaggled conflagration of the group thinkers.  I can just hope they realize one day that they don’t have to take someone else’s word for it all the dern time.  Ya, listen to the pastor, try to live the way you want and think is right, but don’t be afraid to question authority.  Men and women are fallible, and guess what, men and women are (typically) in charge o’ shit.

I think i would like to rock climb.  I have been doing some push-ups, so i think im ready for anything natural crags and mountains can throw at me.

I found a cat in my apartment last night.  I have NO IDEA how long he had been there, or how he got in.  He seems genial enough and was quite polite as far as felines go.  He made me scream like a bear in a parachute though.  I escorted him outside and i have been looking for an escape hatch into my abode ever since.

I really like digging.  i actually tried really damn hard to get a job at the local Stillwater cemetery digging graves this past summer.  Unfortunately, they do all the digging via machine now.  Which is totally impersonal.  Its something about the manual labor, perhaps the smell.  Not of the dead, but the digging.  I just figured since i have a penchant for shovelry that i might fenagle a way of getting paid to do it.

I want to sky dive and sing the entirety of “A Whole New World” before the chute is in need of pulling.  I think once i have completed that task i can go ahead and pass on jerking the cord, my life will be complete.  I find that singing disney period can get you through any situation.  Roller-coasters, arguments, grocery shopping, philosophical debates about abortion, the works.  Try it.  the next time you get in an argument randomly end a sentence with a bit of verse.  the next time its your turn to speak, say the next line with a bit of melody.  then SING IT.  She/he/it will eventually either:

a) forget what the argument was about

b) admit defeat by cruel and unusual punishment

c) (my personal favy) Both A and B as well as sing Harmony

All problems in life can be alleviated with a little dose o’ Disney.

quote me on that.

Walt you know what you were doing when you created this funk banging legacy.

Ups and Downs.

Am i the only person who sets little goals for himself throughout the day?  Im like, do another pull up Brocy, and you can….do another….one…  Or step on that particularly crunchy looking leaf and you will get a dollar…..from me….yourself.

I’m casually worried that my personality will one day split.  I more often than not refer to myself, and in return i refer back to my other self, as if they are two people.  And i think there very much is two people dancing in my dome.  I wonder if i met me on the street if i would want to be friends with me.  Im pretty sure 18 year old Broc would annoy the hell out of present day pseudo-2 Broc. (by the way, wordpress is claiming my name is not spelled correctly, which ORIGINALLY made me madsies, but then i realized it also doesn’t recognize “wordpress” as a word.  So very humble of you.  Are you in fact, o dearest of WordPress’s simply making a clerical error based on the lazy attempts at editor encoding, or are you something deeper and of more value?  Are you perhaps indicating an awareness of humility in the fact you do not claim yourself as true?  if your not true, and im not true, what is truth?  Where is a Nihilist when you need one?  They always make me feel better, and they often wear “forgive me” headgear, which are typically fedoras, bandanas, and I heart NY hats.)

I will leave these strange ramblings with a quote of grandeur:

“You can solve every problem in the world with the proper application of Pancakes”

-Rosa Parks-

2 thoughts on “No Chopin, You Cannot Have the Soft Spot.

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