So i started chapter 5.

I cranked out 3 pages in less than an hour.  It is flowing nicely it would seem.

This is the awkward bit in the story where i slowly figured out how to lose weight while i was still gaining it.  What can I say?  I require food when I ponder and plan.  This is the fattest chapter, it was supposed to make an appearance last chappy chap, but I wasn’t feeling it, and it panned out in a different direction than I originally anticipated.  So i am smushing a couple of Chapters together in the hopes of moving this little “fight for the light plight” along.

Today I wrote about CiCi’s pizza.  I wrote about the day that Helmer and I went there for lunch at 11:45 and didn’t leave until almost close.  They don’t pay attention to you AFTER you are pass the cashier, so we just sat there all day and ate whenever we got hungry and just shot the breeze on a Saturday afternoon.  We got hungry a lot, and we probably owed them a lot more money than we paid.  we never got caught, we stayed there longer than some of their shifts.

It was a fun day, and it was a day that i will rue, because I am ashamed it ever occurred.  I have never been back to CiCi’s since I’ve been under the 300 lb. mark.

I also talked about my brainstorming sessions with what i should do to lose all of it.  Difficult days, and harder nights.  Nights were always the hardest for heavy kids.  The only thing keeping you from raiding the fridge is your own willpower, discipline, or what have you.  It was a battle that i lost many o’ night.

So i learned why International kids think it is cool to hang out for the bus NOT at the bus stop.  I always see them waiting for the bus at various spots that are NOT the bus stop, but about 20-60 feet away from it, depending on the stop.  It isn’t because they think it is the next cool thing to be doing, you know like GREASE cool, but because they seem to value shade a lot.  For asian women, it is uncool to allow your fair skin to become….unfair.  A fair girl is a sign of a girl who hasn’t had to work that much in her life and is therefore more attractive for her pallid flesh.  Sort of like the fatties in medieval times who were thought super sexy because they had money to eat.  Maybe it wasn’t so much their side rolls but the edible ones that people found more appealing.  Along the same vein, asian men like asian women who have white skin.  Hence the umbrellas on sunny days, shade tree molesting, and general air of vamper-like tendencies.

I know i said vamper. In accordance with vampire.  I know that is a touchy subject for most of Americans.  Two types of touchy to be precise: 1) those who get uber touchy when they hear about ANOTHER damn vampire ANYTHING 2)those who just want to touch/be touched by a vampire.

I think it is unfair what Vampire lore has surmounted to.  It is sort of like Gays taking the ENTIRE rainbow for their emblem of coming out.  Now I can’t wear my double rainbow sweater vest without making a statement for gay rights.  I mean, its not that there is anything wrong with such statements by any means, but it is mired with third party association.  I can’t be a guy who likes refracted light, now I have to be saying something political.

In a similar vein, The Twilight-i-fication of modern day America has caused anything said, done, or quipped about garlic and sunlight fearing fiends to be associated with the sparkling, female porn variety.

Don’t get me wrong, I think everyone should be able to board their favorite Vampire Boat, be it Stoker or Stephanie Meyer, but immediate culture jumping makes me a sad badger.  I have nothing wrong with the books or the movies, I just sort of hate Team Edward shirts, not for what they represent, but for their redundancy.  Sort of like how if you eat the same tuna sandwich for 90 days straight…you start getting sick of it and wishing for some PB&J intervention or you’re threatening taste bud suicide.  But I LOVE tuna sandwiches, so i might just be okay with it.

And that is where I will leave you, on an enigmatic Tuna Fish Ultimatum.  Truly how every day SHOULD end.