So I just finished Chapter 5.

Sorry guys, no nudity this time.  I do however have an all day pizza eating contest with Helmer at CiCis.  Also, I bring to light the infamous waggle-whomp, a creature that hids best within the realms of sock drawers….full of sad lonely single socks.

Concerning the title of this blog, i have only this to say: Clever word-smiths will either be the first to be nabbed in the crowded halls of the nearest penitentiary….or the last.  Hopefully it is the latter.  Not that I ever plan on going to prison, but i don’t ever balk on trying new things, prison included.

I had no idea what I am talking about.

Continue reading “If Ever I’m in Prison, I’ll Have a Really Good Shower Song.” →

So It is twelve days in.  I will finish this chapter before or on Sunday.

That is a chapter a week.  at this rate, i will have the book entirely written before the end of the year.  One can hope.

I need to try and find a publisher.  Someone who can look pass the shoddy prose and see that a method that causes you to lose 265 pounds can sell to a country spending billions on weight loss methods.

One can hope. Continue reading “Award Winning Strides, Venereal Cures.” →

I hate Wednesdays.  I also hate people who call Wednesday “hump day,” not because of the content of the argument, but because every person says it like they came up with it.

It sort of reminds me how every person I have every met, once they get to know me a little better (to the point of name variation, e.g. nicknames, playful ‘Y’ additions, etc.) comes to the same nickname for me: Broccoli…ugh.

It usually plays out like this: “Brocy, Broco…Brocy….BROCCOLI!” and their eyes just light up, like they are the most creative person since Humphrey Belcher who thought the time was ripe for a Cheese Cauldron. (life isn’t complete without at LEAST one Harry Potter reference a day) Continue reading “Frat Pit and the Out of Breath Donut.” →