The Only One Suicidal Here is the Dog

So i am sitting here and wondering what to blog and then it came to me.

no it didn’t.

so im just going to keep talking until something comes to me.

in lieu of my title i will briefly cover suicidal and/or death fascinated pets.  i once had a cat that would take her kittens up a tree and drop them one by one to the ground.  the ones who lived got to survive.  which really makes sense if you think about it.

i never really understood why she actually did it.  maybe she was trying to weed out the weaker stock.  perhaps she was training for future generations of mountain climbers, or base jumpers.  i don’t really understand the musings of cats to be honest.  we did name one of the lucky survivors Splat tho…..poor damn cat.

im thinking about trying out for the Oklahoma State Quidditch team.  I am considering trying out for keeper or seeker.  I know im a larger build for playing a seeker but hey, it worked for Cedric. So hey!  why not give her a twissle laddies.

plus i really want to chase that golden bastard around campus.

I think i would be a better goalie though to be honest.  i am one with that quaffle.  they will soon have to change the name of it to a Brocffle.  it rolls of the tongue better in my opinion.

i personally like waffles in comparison to pancakes.  not just a preference but a downright need for waffles.  which is a little retarded because they contain the exact same thing.  you use the same batter for each but they taste completely different.  which leads me to:

DAILY PHILOSOPHIES- doo, da doo doo.

if you can take the same object and create two different things given the right proponents and techniques of deliverance than who’s to say anything in our life is not a simple avenue change from complete reformation?

…nothing.

the real question is this:  is such an insubstantial quality applied to daily life a good or bad thing?

You remember when your mother was too cheap to buy Popsicles and instead poured orange juice into the ice-cube trays and put toothpicks in them once they partially solidified for tiny makeshift handles?

those were amazing.  so amazing that i made some this morning and the roof of my mouth is currently numb from their consumption.

A question for the ages:  why does a sandwich made by a woman ALWAYS taste better than one you make yourself?

It makes no logical damn sense to be quite honest.  The person who at the end of the moment knows EXACTLY what you want on a sandwich is yourself but i am willing to gamble that you take any woman and ask her to make me a sandwich and it will rule my existence.  she could put stuff on it that i don’t even like and i still would find it delectable.

Of course I am applying a generality over all women to be honest, having only tested the theory on a few select women:  My Grandma, Me mum, Meghan, the Subway lady who puts extra cheese on my tuna sandwich.

but im just saying, women tend to focus on the little things that are important while men deal in generalities. women focus on the day to day events of life, taking each and everything thing into consideration,  while men tend to focus on the Ramada inns and Taco Bells on the route to his desired end.

neither side can help who they are, and both sides are equally pissed at the opposing side for being difficult.

a.k.a. they make sandwiches with love.

you can’t really change who you are though.

Unless your famous,

freakin Hannah Montana types pull that shit all the time.

back to my original point:  women make wonderful sandwiches.  now my evidence is lacking, so if any females would like to test my theory by making me many sandwiches I will dutifully accept them in the name of science and study of the human condition.

Does anything i say make sense to people or am i just really freakin weird?

im going to go with both a and b and continue.

there is this girl in my class who I have the strangest feeling she is faking her British accent.  Now i am a huge Anglophile, and its hard for someone to surpass my bias and wind up on my fakedar but she has been producing pretty consistent beeps.  in my opinion, there is the British accent and then there is the BRITISH accent.  the latter is often a group who are attempting to hide their weaker dialect and often overuse common British vernacular, that and the damn Welsh.  Sort of a too British to actually BE British ideology.

I have a full proof test that will prove one way or another her true speech homebase.  it resides on one, and only one word.

One in which Americans consistently mispronounce and one Brits simply have to roll their eyes at:

Gloucester-shire.

Americans will pronounce it “glow(like ow) chester(like the cat) shire(like where frodo is from).

while the correct pronunciation is “Gloss-ter-sher.

makes no sense to tres silly americains but nontheless a full proof test for Queen Size Fraudulent behavior.

Jump Jump Jump because the world is crashing down.

4 thoughts on “The Only One Suicidal Here is the Dog

  1. i overheard some girls in one of my English classes talking about a girl that fakes a British accent……coincidence? I think not. Also…. you suck! not really, i want to say that this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever read, but it’s rather entertaining…… i think I’m jealous…… nah, it’s just gas.

  2. Gloucestershire is a hard one to get when you’re a voice actor, but you get it eventually. Bet I could have fooled you when we first met!

    Definitely agree on the sandwich thing. Women make some very superior sandwiches. Any debate would be superfluous when stood up next to your ineffably wondrous logic.

    That said, Gloucestershire is spoken slightly differently in Cockney, and even more-so in Devonshire. It’s more like Gloss-ter-shauye-er. Or some facsimilie thereof.

  3. the key to the sandwich is not in the how, or the who – but the why…. the female does everything by putting a piece of herself into what she does. She always gives a bit of herself, something that is not a male quality. As for the deer – the Momma deer knows that if she allows her babe to live in place of herself, that the babe will die anyway and that would be a slow and lonely death, but trust me she dies right along with her babe even as she bounces away from the babes cold corpse

  4. I would just like to say, that the pronunciation problem is easily solved. Gloucester-shire looks just like Worcestershire. If you know how to pronounce the latter, you should know how to pronounce the former. To burst your bubble. Sorry.

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