Sausage, Industry Linoleum and Expanded Polyester

So I’m still going strong!

Three days in….but ya, it’s still something!

So today was still Broc Book, which i know, is a surprise.

I talked about shirt popping, a term i invented for stretching out my shirts before i put them on when i weighed as much as a baby whale.  That is not an over-dramatization either, i literally outweighed several baby whales.  Not sickly ones either.  not the runts.  the healthy, even rotund buggers that eat their way through carp, seal, and krill alike.  I contended with them for the first few several months of their lives.  So i would pop my shirts, so they would stretch out and be more comfortable as i put them on my body.

I think everyone should walk a day in a fat suit.  People look at you differently.  They try not to look at you.  It is sort of similar to how you look at someone with a handicap.  The awkward stare, but not a stare, but trying to treat them equally, but trying to not to seem like you are staring, but maybe I shouldn’t not look, but oh geez there they go….awkward.

I wore a fat suit…mine was just a little harder to take off than what I’m suggesting…maybe you should try a more transient method…like make up and pillows.


By the way, Elvis isn’t dead….I heard him on the Radio.

I also talked about Photographs.  When you are overweight… can be a touchy subject.  Because we all craft our self image…sometimes it is right….most of the time it isn’t.  That is why we spend so much time crafting it.  the main difference here is this: for someone who isn’t physically different, self image is more of a emotional, personality, basic appearance image.  Something that is easily covered and absolutely not revealed in photographs.  When you pretend that you look someone you don’t, you sort of start FORGETTING that you actually DON’T.  The jerk-bag thing about photographs is sort of the same jerk-bag blunt person that always says exactly what everyone else is too societally constrained to say…..making things awkward.

That is why overweight people get elaborate haircuts….buy crazy clothes….have overzealous personalities….its because they are trying to cover up these little rigamaroos called love handles.  Maybe that isn’t ALWAYS the case, but i think that i have more of a valid say so than you do.  I did it.

Oh look at my long hair!

Look at my Beard!

Look at my new shoes!

Look at how loud, boisterous and funny i am!

DON’T look at how fat I am.  That is what I was really saying…even if i didn’t consciously realize I was doing it.

Lucky for me, i figured out i look ridiculous with a long hair, moderately okay with a beard (minus the ROUND face) and through all that somehow preserved my rapier wit.

So that is sort of what I talked about tonight.


Other than that. I’m sort of known as the resident Communist at work now.  Ever since I let slip that i thought that Communism MAY be a good idea in theory (if human beings weren’t so self-centered and damn greedy by nature).  then because they started bashing Communism, and I’m a straight up sucker for defending the underdog, i found myself riffing arguments on behalf of Communism….not necessarily something I believe in or support at all.


Then I schooled a women who lived in the fifties ABOUT the fifties.  They all tried to argue that because I wasn’t alive in the fifties I can’t possibly know…but that just sounds stupid.

New addition to the Brocmandoo’s Bucketlist: Persuade a pregnant stranger to name her child after me….birth certificate copy as proof.

I think that is an admirable goal.

Also, catch a leaf before it hits the ground…then keep it my entire life and never let it touch.  And i don’t mean pluck a leaf…I mean let nature run its course…the life dies and falls off the tree…and in that 4-8 second window before it hits the ground (weather, wind ratios, and gravitational forces of the moon, the earths core, and extraterrestrial passerby may affect this estimate).

Admirable also.

I will see you tomorrow….admirability still firmly in place along my sternum.


“Sometimes the well rendered riffing of a side-along blog can make the final cut of your book.  Genius just sort of works out like that.”

-Daniel Day Lewis-

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