I need to work on my dialogue. I don’t feel like it is up to snuff. So i am going to invent to characters and use this blog post to try and dictate their conversation. It may be weird, especially since i am about to make it up on the spot with little to no thought.
Location: A well lit balcony outside a second level Starbucks.
Jamie:A lonely entry level telemarketer trying to find someone to take ballroom dancing lessons with. He sees Marla, and thinks she is the right person to ask. Tentative but tenacious, a dry sense of humor, but inexperienced and shy.
Marla: a 27 year old single woman looking for a job, hell bent on procreation with an unrealistic standard of man. Dreamer, argumentative, likes to laugh, no-nonsense, hesitant around strangers.
Jamie has seen her there before, they are both regular coffee shop goers. He isn’t just approaching a random woman, he isn’t that type of guy. If he was a foot taller and more blonde, he would be closer to Marla’s assumption of that guy.
Description is going to be sparse, only giving what I feel is necessary, the point is believable, interesting dialogue.
Without further ado:
J-Excuse me, but I was wondering something.
J-I said I was wondering something.
M-Oh, you are talking to me. What did you say?
J-I was wondering something.
M-…that is good I guess.
J-Have you ever danced before?
M-I don’t understand the question.
J-It…it is simple enough, have you ever danced? Do you like to dance? Have you ever considered it as an activity?
M-I have danced at one point or another in my life yes. Thank you for asking.
J-That wasn’t fully answering my question.
M-Well, you asked three. I answered the one I thought closest to the point.
J-You already know the point?
M-I have a feeling, yes.
J-What’s the point then?
M-You are twitchy, nervous, and sweating. You look like you want to ask me to prom. I don’t think I’ll be allowed, since we don’t go to the same school and all.
J-Well, I already graduated, so there isn’t a prom I can invite you too. And if your only snag was two different schools, I’ll assume you haven’t straight out said no. Especially since you weren’t that far from the truth in your guess.
M-What makes you think I wouldn’t say no?
J-Because you are still forming the word as a part of a question.
J-But you don’t even know what it is I am going to ask you, you are just doing this to spite me.
M-No I’m not, I’m doing it because you said I wouldn’t.
J-That would be the same thing as spiting me.
M-…Is there a point to any of this?
J-I knew it. I knew you would be interested. The ambiguous Prom comment has you wondering.
M-I’m not interested, I just am trying to get to the point in the conversation that gets you to leave.
J-I see my natural charm has taken hold.
J-Then I’ll be out with it. Do you want to Ballroom dance?
M-Are you acting as advertisement or offer?
J-Both, i guess. Since no one seems to know how or where to do it anyway.
M-So, just for clarity’s sake, you came over here to ask me to dance, with you, right now, in the middle of a shop? Should we move the tables or are we going to Sock-Hop around them?
J- There is a class, there is ambition, and the only thing i need is a partner. In any case, I didn’t mean now. I meant at a later date.
M-Oh, then out comes the ‘D’ word. I was wondering when you were going to get around to it.
J-It isn’t going to be a ‘date.’ We will just be two people learning the fox-trot.
M-I’ve never heard it called that before. And why can’t it be a date?
J-Do you WANT it to be a date?
M-Nope, but you just proved that you do.
J-Look, I need someone to dance with. I don’t know you, and you don’t know me. You are frankly kind of cute. You look like you can move at a moderate speed without tripping, your feet aren’t dainty enough to be crushed by mine, and I’d figure I’d see. If it is too much of a damn inconvenience for you, then I’m sorry I wasted your time. I’ll call the barista around to help you forget I asked.
M-Easy there, love bug, I can take the sweet talk but when you put on the charm full blast my elbows start quaking.
Jamie turned, already chalking up the entire Ballroom thing as stupid and not worth the time to participate. His face was hot, he didn’t feel humiliated, just a little awkward and exposed, like when a complete stranger tells you that your fly is unzipped. He had taken two steps when he heard her voice.
M-I didn’t say no, you know.
J-Yes you did. You said no before you knew what I was even going to say
M-that doesn’t count.
J-Are you just messing with me now?
M-Sort of, but mostly I need to brush up on some Swing. So when and where?
He turned, a pang of hope mixing into his fresh rejection.
She wasn’t smiling. She was all business.
But at least she hadn’t said no.
Word of Wisdom
“Things that never ask, never get an answer.”